The Man & me

He approached with a swagger

Confident & Desirous…

I tried to shield myself

But could not restrain for long

I gave in…

He won me with brittle fancies

The kind which rages at birth

& fails soon after…

He made me merry

And happy & content

The sort that peaks before the trough

And vanishes away…

And as such, life withered

When he exited

I probably knew this would happen

Perhaps wanted it to die too

But yet I suffered

Pain disrupted me & I felt lost

I took time, a lot of it…

Found my way back to sanity

He found the arms of another

An era passed before I could be happy for him

Should I title him the “love of my life”?

Should I term the unbridled intensity “bliss”?

How shall my memory fashion him?

What was I for him?

An agreeable doll he could play with?

Or perhaps a likeable distraction?

I hope I provided him casual mirth

I wonder if he remembers my face…

The face he avowed would forever be his beloved…

Most likely buried within the prettiness of so many others…

It’s one more day and I still can’t escape starting it with him

Life awaits; can’t afford to while away time

Even though the guilty past offers more gladness

More than the daily grind that helps me survive…

I exist in today, but live in the bygone

…Despite himself, I yearn for the renegade to come………….