In the mirror of my unkempt dreams
A dire person silently screams
To touch warmth & always let go
To agonize the distance & never better know..

It's a strange blur, this existence of mine
The pieces never, to me, consign...
In this unruly mess, I did find beauty once
Thus came a short-lived peaceful trance

The humors tricked me, and let me see..
That life was stable, as normal as it should be..
I still felt wary of this unheralded positivity
But resilient little hope was hiding for such an opportunity..

Measured steps were leading me to the promised door
The rumbling of excitement grew at my  core..
Could it be? That I wasn't left out when fates were sealed..
For all grief, there was now going to  be a shield...

Disbelief was there but so was damned naked want
I gave in to the latter; the seduction was rather skillfully plant
I reached the door and waited awhile..
Went in after plastering an acceptable smile...

'I am sorrow', She said darkly. 'Why did you reject me?'
'Did you think you were to be greeted by Felicity?
Sorry for your disappointment.But you see..
There lies an eternal bond between you & me'

'Why do you evade me so?Have I not kept you well?'
'Have I not been your constant companion, could you not tell?'
'I do understand though. Mortals so often want the blithe life
Devoid of wounds, of lonesome hurt, of caustic strife

But Gaiety is a fickle mistress and will not leave you in peace,
Believe me, my love, she'll frolic with you, but the merriment Will cease
The ruin will then be beyond repair & before the healing begins
She might toy with you once more & again, before off she will mince

You beseech me then, for calm, for strength, for understanding..
I come, as always and wrap you in the pall of mine
The routine sadness habituates you & you become tough
Till the greed of mirth consumes you once again; the cycles are never enough..

You seek Gaiety again and she does come
I get prepared & you do again summon
Why do you do this time after time?
It'll never stay; this mirage for which you pine..

I protected you henceforth and never let you go..
You adjusted well, and fractured no more
I held you close, and the sameness calmed you
No rude shocks to shatter you, no vows untrue

But you looked through me..and reserved no gratitude
The guileful infidel you sought still, only her you pursued
You left me broken but I lingered on
And here I am when the others are long gone..

Yes, I am not the favorite, but I am what you need
Come into my arms, let me give comfort as you bleed..
I welcome thee, Man, into the aeonian trenches of darkness
For that's where you belong, that's where you'll find Grace..