The weave of dreams lay translucent above

He floated upward.

Beauty seeped in as fantasy came close

Yet it was but a momentary fervor.

The flight could not be broken.

Up and up he went like a feathery wisp

Crossing the realms of life, dreams, fear…

And all of mind’s creations.

One by one, the shrouds fell

He saw existence…

And was ready to go.

Sometimes I feel like a wingless bird. A being once destined to fly; now no heights can she conquer. I chose failure. It is a bad habit that refuses separation. So I wander into the lane leading nowhere and maintain a leisurely walk. This is how it shall be…a listless life stark in its pettiness. I know that I have to just take one of the many turns offering myriad possibilities, yet I amble away from them. I can’t seem to take the few steps required to cross into life’s other avenues. Why can’t I do it?

I am nearing 30 and the only skillset I have is a reasonable command over the English language. So much knowledge abounds and I have but taken a single dip. Sometimes  we get so overwhelmed by the task ahead that it feels better to imagine it isn’t there and then indulge in wasting our time. That superficial living provides superficial comfort and surrounded by ignorance and irresponsibility, that single dip in the ocean seems numerous enough. I am in this state of stagnation, of mental malpractice, of wasting away time as my neurons degenerate. I know I have started rambling, but I believe the crux of the matter is that I feel inadequate. If there were but one thing which I could master, it would not be so. But the slate has remained empty and will continue to do so. Till I become someone else. Or another version of myself. Not the me I know.