Sometimes I wonder at my sorry life; not lacking in anything other than an aim..

Rudderless and confused, I float adrift--no shore can I claim

Petty triumphs yield transient merriment

No higher purpose, no steering principled

Life still lies ahead, but I fear..

The routine would proceed unabated and in the end..

"What did I do with the time given to me?" would go unanswered..

A mundane course, filled with trivial milestones...jumping from one accepted point to another..

Childhood,School,College....as my mind is now filled with thoughts of marriage..

I want to move away, want to be a free being for sometime...with passions of my own..

But the pragmatic me pushes on and in this conflict I give up..

I want to live the life I'm expected to...and also want something more..

But my scared soul cries "Prudence! Do not repeat the sins of the past..follow the charted path"

I agree, yet suffocate...and dwell on it endlessly...What am I to do?What should I do?

The conflict drags on and life moves on and the pessimist whines on..

Is this how it would be?Stifled, calculated steps till life ebbs away, hoping to play it right?

Would I be happy then? I want to change, want to raise in my own esteem..

But the negativity dominates, and I feel like getting society's approval of being a good girl..

Of  doing the right things at the right time...of making my parents proud..the easy way..

But somewhere I stay dissatisfied with my resolve and feel like being the uber-confident rebel woman which I used to think I am...

But the wild days belong to the past and  the tamed me wants to be a good follower..

As I pour out my hopelessness and weave myself a perfect fantasy world..

I wish you a good day Sir or Madam, and hope you have had joyous times unfurled..