Math Test..

The test was a disaster.But as much as i'm trying to be, im not depressed. Or even sombre. I Am perturbed though. I steered my academic career towards biology so as to escape from the trouble called maths. My 12th standard board exam preparation in this subject was a sham though i fared decently. And i was happy. No more pain. And lo behold, life has come full circle! I have just started my PhD and biology seems less important than physics and maths! Hail the new interdisciplinary science of biology. To impress upon the person i want to work under -- that i really am serious of computational and cognitive neuroscience, i have taken up a linear algebra course. The course has some 150 students almost all engineers who are somewhat-to-well versed in the subject. I sat like a dumb duck in the few classes i attended and tried not to sleep. To be honest, the course isn't that bad....but true to my innate nature...after i got over my initial paranoia and got habituated, studying linear algebra has all but stopped. There is no correlation between me taking the course lightly and getting better at math for me. Before today's test, i almost had a week full of blissful free time but my inner self revolted everytime i thought about preparing for the test. The result was bunking all classes today,skipping lunch, and somehow cramming up 15 lectures from 7 a.m. to 3 p.m.No practice, no deriving identites.And the test obviously cannot go well....normal human cognitive limits apply : an individual who has always avoided maths and never felt any inclination towards that dreaded subject, had stopped "formally" studying that subject 5 years ago, cannot suddenly become a math genius who just needs one reading to absorb all that has been done in class in 2 months. Hmmm. What can be done?I am definitely heading towards failure in this subject but my absurd incorrigible behavior is going to affect tests of other courses too! An emergency meeting with my unruly self needs to be called and a tackling strategy must be initiated! This has been done many times before without success but the ever optimistic me is not going to shy away from another try. OK. I am going to the mess now for dinner and after that the taming of my mind and forcing it to be more serious about studies will begin.Ciao.